“Ok Bye”. The last words from her mouth echoed in the cosmos of his sleep. It’s one thing to pretend your thoughts aren’t bothering you, it’s another when they actually do. His lips were worn off and dry, and the water couldn’t have helped him. He needed the moisture of her lips. His cold hands didn’t need those blankets, they needed the warmth of her palm. The fresh air didn’t have the effect on his perspiring body as the fragrance that she carried. His moist shallow eyes didn’t need those tissues, they needed the depth of her cornea.
“One of the hardest decision you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder”. He had never learnt to walk away, and trying harder to hold on only loosened his grip on the scorching sand. The blisters on his hands were mortified, but he couldn’t let go.. he never wanted to. He was told letting go was a symbol of strength, for only the strong could overcome the grief of letting go. What he wasn’t told was holding on needed that super human strength and character which peaked far beyond the imaginations. His life had become that swinging pendulum between holding on and letting go, which struck the cuckoo every second of his life. He was strong – insanely strong, and the stronger he was.. the harder life hit him.
A gasp of breath and his eyes were wide open. Something just flashed by his thoughts. The room was suffocating him. The walls were getting closer. Even on that rainy windy night, he was sweating profusely. He wanted some air. Barefoot he left the room and opened that glass door which led to the mini terrace. He stood there in the constant drizzle brought by that chilling breeze. It came from the west. The breeze had her scent. Maybe the air knew the only way to connect these souls were to touch them. His dry lips were moistened by those drops as if she just placed a kiss. His hands were still cold but his eyes were not visibly watery under those sprinkling mist.
The deafening noise of silence was screaming too loud for him to remain in his senses. Reasons had left him, he was all by his gut. But he never shied away from his gut. It was the Love of his life and he knew it. Beyond all reasons and rationality he gave each and every part of himself without questioning. He was convinced she was THE ONE. 4 years in the making, he stood there in the rain knowing that each passing moment he was running into a dagger, and he was supposed to remain calm as he loved her like no other love can could have claimed. The mountains had gazed upon it in wonder, the rivers froze to pay an ode to his love, his breath did not stop because this golden love story was still unfinished… and what a story it was turning out to be.. A golden one, indeed. The heart was somehow still pumping when it wasn’t meant to. It was shattered into a million pieces and he had to pick them all up piece by piece, mend it and it kept functioning. It shattered a million times again, and it time it shattered, it was rebuilt. Those bloodied hands did not complain, they kept mending this broken heart and the heart reciprocated – it did not stop functioning. There was something to it – If there is ever a word for it, it was LOVE. If love, as a word alone couldn’t do justice to it, then no amount of expression ever would. This very night, his hands gave up. They did not want to but they just had lost enough blood. It was the strength of his mind that kept him going… which was surprising as the mind had always been at pole’s end with him. He had a beautiful mind, but he never listened to it. He ignored it and the mind had an ego of its own. But today, the mind seemed to be encouraging him to go the distance. The mind had either given up or simply awestruck by this man’s will. The mind gracefully accepted to make the way on which the heart wanted to go. But probably this was the difference. When there is none at the other end of the tug of war, there is nothing to play for.
He sat down on the wet plastic chair as the skies began to clear. It was dark and he was broken. The clouds had no silver lining, but there they were… the stars glittering as the skies cleared. They were always there, just waiting to be seen. For you can only see the stars in the dark. As he closed his eyes, the droplets on his lashes dripped down. It had all been poured and the blood washed. The heart was still beating… beating again for it knew it’s lifecycle was short. But it also knew it was a phoenix that will rise again from the ashes and start beating again. This was THE LOVE.. and it could have been found nowhere else. It’s still there and forever shall be. It will continue to amaze the world far beyond the bondage of time. As the time flew by, the stars began disappearing. It was only the first rays of the beautiful sun that woke him up. The fresh smell of the grass drying up in those rays as a white dove flew over his head.
Taamasya 